The MarySue Who Couldn't?
by Delleve
Summary: Janina Marie Abigail Michelle Gabriel Von-Howsdale, the horribly unsuccessful and unacknowledged Mary-Sue, tells all.


**Summary**: Janina Marie Abigail Michelle Gabriel Von-Howsdale, the horribly unsuccessful and unacknowledged Mary-Sue, tells all.

**Rated G**.

**AN**: I have no idea where the idea for this came from. I honestly don't and I'm not sure I want to know. Nonetheless, review for it makes Miss Von-Howsdale and myself feel appreciated and loved ... or at least something like that.

And I'm going to go to a book signing of Meg Cabot's tomorrow! Yeah!

The Mary-Sue Who ... Couldn't? 

Janina Marie Abigail Michelle Gabriel Von-Howsdale was a failed Mary-Sue. Sure, she had the overly long and exotic name, her cerulean eyes were as crystalline as the bluest ocean, and her golden locks shined wonderfully in the sunlight, but she just wasn't a successful Mary-Sue.

How hard she had tried to woo every male at Hogwarts with her overly dramatic phrases and lovely American accent but she hadn't succeeded in the least. Even when she had sauntered oh so very seductively into Professor Howard J. Binns classroom, laid herself upon his desk -- in her most beautiful lavender floor-length ball gown and pearl earrings, no less -- and purred of her undying love to him, he simply gave her an odd and vaguely afraid look and went through the nearest wall. How completely and totally rude these ghosts were, hardly romantic to add.

Instead of being _loved_ and _idolized_ by all of her classmates and _hated_ and wished to _die_ by anyone reading the fic she was the star of, _everyone_ absolutely _loathed_ her with a high amount of _passion_, especially the students and teachers. She simply couldn't _understand _the complete _nonsense _that she was being put so _horribly_ through. What was _wrong_ with her and _why_ did everyone hate her _so much_? It was _truly _puzzling. Even Janina's _brilliant_ and _highly educated_ mind couldn't sort it all out.

Janina received absolutely perfect marks on every test she was given, she achieved every task given to her, and her hair was never out of place. She had even saved the _entire_ firstyearclass single handily when a dragon decided to get testy for crying out loud!

Alas, Janina was now feeling much angst. She hoped this would allow her to understand Harry Potter's poor, tortured, suffering, grief-stricken soul and mend him back to normal with her unwavering love and care. She also hoped that her magnificent power of being able to control the weather would somehow come into play, because sadly she was yet to grace the wizarding world with that one of her many superhuman powers.

Janina Apparated into The Common Room of the Lion in a swirl of unexplainable sparkling smoke and the smell of roses. She _was _a Slytherin, but the nicest, most honest one to ever be a pupil at Hogwarts, though this still did not explain why she was in The Common Room of the Lion at all.

"Hello everyone," she announced to the group of Gryffindors playing chess, studying, and relaxing in front of the fire in The Common Room of the Lion.

Sadly, no one acknowledged her entrance except for one Hermione Granger who began to rant about no one being able to Apparate at Hogwarts and house-elf rights. Typical Hermione Granger, brains but, alas, no real beauty of Hogwarts.

"Harry," she began, sauntering over to the Wizarding Boy Wonder unfaltering in her five-inch heels. "I have felt angst, therefore I know the antagonism and hurt that overtakes your pitiable, porcelain mind day in and day out."

"Say what?" Harry asked, clearly bamboozled.

"I understand you, Harry," Janina said, reaching out to hold Harry's hand reassuringly.

"Whoa!" Harry said, backing away. "No touchy!"

Janina sighed and pulled back her golden hair into nothing less but an elegant bun. "I suppose my glittering presence, character, and general help is unneeded here?"

"Yes," The Common Room of the Lion chorused together.

Janina sighed yet again, crossed her arms, nodded a la I Dream of Jeannie, and disappeared back to The Common Room of the Serpent.

"I am so horribly unappreciated," she sighed, as she collapsed onto a chaise lounge that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Yes, the day was now over as the moon rose and filled the sky with its milky light, the very same light that glowed down upon Janina's poor, unacknowledged soul. _And I haven't even saved _one _person from Voldemort's evil clutches_, Janina thought dismally as she drifted off to sleep.

**AN2: **Yes, it's odd and vaguely frightening but review, dear readers, for I absolutely _adore_ them! I love you all!

...Or, y'know, something like that.


End file.
